Life According to Me

From a Building to a Home: Freshman Year of College in Regards to Dougie Lounge

The carpet looked like a giant rug purchased at a flea market under the façade of being a traditional Persian antique and the walls were covered in dark oak paneling that made the entire room look like it could be the setting of a Harry Potter movie.  There was an out of tune piano in the corner that was being played by a boy with Jesus’s hairstyle and two fireplaces with signs explicitly stating that they could not be used.  On one half of the room stood 40 boys – it would be a stretch to consider them men just yet.  I stood on the other half with about 50 girls.  It could be comparable to a middle school dance, except we all knew that we would not be returning home to our parents’ houses at nine o’clock.  Instead, we were about to meet the people that we would be living with for the next eight months in this building that was so old it lacked air conditioning and an elevator.

The carpet looked like a giant rug purchased at a flea market under the façade of being a traditional Persian antique, but it actually is better used as a leg-wrestling mat. The walls were covered in dark oak paneling that made the entire room look like it could be the setting of a Harry Potter movie, but instead it was the setting of furniture forts, dogpiles, and late night Sporcle sessions.  There was an out-of-tune piano in the corner on which Heart and Soul and Someone Like You had been played way too many times and two fireplaces, one of which had been the nesting place for a family of birds a few months back.  Sitting a corner was the telephone that I never noticed until it rang one evening as we were all hanging out and a friend asked who was all in the lounge.  On the table lay a few abandoned note cards of one of the many Spanish 102 students taking the class pass-fail – el parque salvaje equals wild game farm.  The couches were all reconfigured to facilitate fifteen people trying to all hang out in one area, and a cushion sat on the table bench to accommodate vertically challenged students.  The window screen was missing out of the second window from the right, the product of a soccer ball gone awry.

 

Dear People Who Take iPhone Mirror Pictures:

Let me just begin by educating you about the Self-Portrait setting on your iPhone – in case you didn’t know, there is an exceptionally obvious button in the top right corner of the iPhone camera screen.  Upon pressing this button, the camera in your precious iPhone will take photos from the face of the phone instead of the back! So if you ever feel so inclined to take a selfy because of your amazing hair day that just so happened to occur the second you jumped out of bed (How crazy is that? I bet that NEVER happens to you!), just press that button and it works sublimely.

However, I am aware that many of you know about that tool on the iPhone and yet you still insist on the taking the photo in the mirror.  Not to make assumptions, but I think I can pretty much assume that you are trying to show off your super great iPhone. But really, what are trying to prove? I hope you realize that having an iPhone does NOT make you cool.  I have an iPhone and I can whole-heartedly assure you that I am not in the least bit cool.  So stop showing off your iPhone for all of Facebook to see – we do not care.  Oh, and please don’t hashtag “Team iPhone”.  We care about that even less.

Now to all the emaciated fourteen-year-old boys whose iPhone mirror selfys trade out a shirt for a flat-brimmed baseball cap that is barely placed on your overly gelled hair – you need to realize that your abdomen region is not featuring a six-pack.  Those are ribs, not muscles.  Put some clothes on and try taking a picture with some other people.  It looks much more attractive – trust me, I was a fourteen-year-old girl once.  Do the members of One Direction take shirtless mirror pictures? No.  Do the members of One Direction have the ability to win the hearts and virginities of most teenage girls in Western society? Yes.

Speaking of fourteen-year-old girls, you ladies also have a few lessons to learn.  For one, remember when you were little and people would be like, “Smile and say ‘cheese’!” before you took pictures? That was the best advice you were ever given – take it. (The cheese part is flexible).  When you make disgusted faces, you do not look as pretty as when you smile.  Moreover, you look like a bitch.  When you make ducky faces, you look like a fourteen-year-old girl in the early 2000s on MySpace.  Nobody wants to look like that.  Secondly, if you need to include self-deprecating captions on every photo you put on Facebook in order to fish for compliments in a most painfully obvious way, you really need to reevaluate your life.  I know that middle school is tough and you’re probably suffering from self-esteem issues – again, I was a fourteen-year-old girl once too.  Try doing something awesome like volunteering or babysitting or being nice to a classmate and maybe you will get compliments naturally.  Or maybe you won’t, but at least you will still have your pride.

Finally, to all the married women out there taking iPhone mirror pictures – get a life, a job, or a hobby.  Hell, even go watch reality TV or read Fifty Shades of Grey before you take an iPhone featured mirror picture and post it to Facebook.  Just please, do something.

And just remember – the Self-Portrait button is in the top right corner of the camera tool if you need to fulfill your selfy craving.  At least make yourself the center of attention instead of your iPhone.

In your best interest,

Annie

P.S. For the visual learners: iPhone Camera

Tumblr Experiment, take two.

So I’m thinking I might try out this Tumblr thing again, despite not really getting into it the first time around.  I did that with both Facebook and Twitter back in the day, and I ended up really liking them.  Plus, my roommate is on Tumblr all the time so it must be pretty cool.

High School, College, and Life In Between.

It’s absolutely crazy to think that in about a week and a half, I will be loading up the van and moving into Douglass Hall Room 302 at the College of Wooster.  Is it really time for me to go to college?  

It’s funny how skewed my perception of time is.  For an example, it seems like it was just yesterday that I was sitting in Mr. Kohut’s 8th period English class with a dozen other obnoxious thirteen year olds, yelling out random words like, “Rock” and “Bode Ryan”.  But on the other side, it seems like an entire lifetime has passed since Mike and I spent a week in the art room with Mrs. Roush, watching Jerry Springer while slaving away to finish the yearbook.  (You’re welcome, Lowellville High School.)  

In my opinion, although the summer between high school and college is the most carefree time of your life, it’s also an awkward gray area that people struggle to define.  You’re not a high schooler any more, but you also aren’t in college yet. For some of us, the high school chapter of our life ends the day they head off to college.  For others, the college chapter begins as soon as they graduate from high school.  However, I feel as though my high school chapter is over, but my college chapter has yet to begin.  For me, this summer has been a chapter of it’s own.

It began a few days before graduation, with my trip to Chicago.  Heading out on a seven hour road trip with Scott, Marty, Sarah, Ray, and Matt was one of the most pivotal parts of growing up.  I had to make sure I had money for everything.  I had to figure out directions around the city.  I had to make decisions.  But I got to have an absolute blast, and I wouldn’t trade it for the world.  Standing there in Millennium Park as my favorite band played flawlessly and thousands of people around me were jumping up and down, singing “Hold my hand just one more time” at the top of their lungs was an absolutely amazing experience. 

As far as graduation goes, I actually had a blast.  I didn’t cry.  Well, okay I might have a little bit.  But it was only when I was helping Tony with his medal, and he told me that he was going to be lost without me.  It was one of those moments of friendship that last only a minute, but stay with you forever.  Other than that, I simply made the best of it.  I acted goofy at the senior picnic.  I read my speech and managed to get a few laughs out of it, despite following what may go down as one of the best valedictorian speeches in the history of LHS.  I overachieved on my graduation display by putting out countless photos, and all my awards.  I went to about ten grad parties each weekend in June.  I told people that I was going to miss them, and I meant it.  But then I moved on.

I feel like I lived out of a suitcase throughout the month of July.  I went to Lake Milton with my family for the 4th of July, just as we do every year.  Shortly afterwards, I went on vacation to Virginia Beach, where my best friend, Emily, and her family happened to be at the same time.  I hung out with my siblings and friends.  I played beach volleyball with boys I didn’t know.  I did cartwheels and read a paperback romance novel on the beach.  It was exactly how vacation was supposed to be.  When I got home from that, I headed out to Kenyon College for OTI.  I was freaking out because I missed an opportunity to be on staff, but as it turned out, the staff was rather boring.  I bonded, for the second year in a row, with Abbey, Marisha, Molly, and Erica.  This year we added Caitlin, Rachael, and my new friend Brie.  We danced with cute boys, invented the awkward whale, planked on everything we could find, and stayed up past lights out, laughing up a storm.  Then we drove home packed in a van with Braylen and Andrew and little to no air conditioning.  It was awesome.  Then, I went to the beach again with my mom, Aunt Rene, and Mary.  Can you say tan?  Yeah, neither can I.

Then August began, and with it came my “pseudo life”.  I house/dogsat for my cousins Pat and Maryann for a week, during which I was living way closer to some of my best friends.  We had a movie night where we played with baby toys.  I went to see and outdoor movie and stared at the starry sky.  I had a bonfire at my best friend’s house where I stayed late and laughed my ass off with her.  Oh, and I managed to get a speeding ticket, locked out of the house, and spend way to much time with two very evil dogs.  But those are just details.  I went to Lake Milton with the Parent Organized Clique, and brought Emily with me.  I grew to become good friends with Scott’s girlfriend, Bobbi.  Floyd and Robby joined us for the day, and we had a blast riding the waverunner and playing cornhole.  Emily, Floyd, Robby, and I sat on the dock, and the people across the dock put on a firework show that made the night perfect.  Then, the four of us laughed until we cried in the attic bedroom, for no reason at all.  My “prestalgia” set in hardcore. 

I’m in a chapter of my life right now that compares to nothing else.  I wouldn’t trade it for the world, and I am dreading its end.  It’s funny how I spent the past year or two pining for college and dreaming about a different life.  And it just came a little too early.  My perfect life is here, hopefully to stay.  I have nothing to complain about.

Except for getting my wisdom teeth out this morning.  
But even that didn’t bother me too much.

Life’s good, I’m happy, and now I’m gonna go eat some mashed potatoes.

Bye!

P.S.  When you get your wisdom teeth out, is it acceptable to eat ice cream more than once a day? 

Always remember that you are absolutely unique, just like everyone else.

—Margaret Mead